FAQ
- How did you decide to get in the business of working with women in transition?
- What do you mean when you talk about “transition”?
- Is a transition positive, negative, or both?
- What kinds of services do you offer to help women?
- But you’re a strong person. Isn’t it harder for most women?
- Do you only work with women?
- What are your credentials?
- What do you offer that’s different than a good divorce lawyer?
- Are you a counselor or therapist?
- What is “The Smart Woman’s Success Connection”?
- Wouldn’t be it easier to learn these skills without the stress of a transition?
- Why does it seem like women don’t know how to handle money as well as men?
- Can women learn financial skills, even later in life?
- Can anyone learn to be good with money?
- What are the first things I should do if I’m a woman thinking about divorce?
- Do you think women should fight to get as much as possible out of a divorce settlement?
- But don’t many women feel they deserve to get everything they can?
- Can career change be a positive transition? So many people are being laid off these days and it doesn’t seem very positive.
- What is your book WAKE UP Your Life about?
- Is there one overarching message for people struggling with transitions in their lives?
After years as a successful jeweler, I knew my second career had to be something I would enjoy, that would be rewarding. I saw an ad in the newspaper for financial planning saying “Are you looking for a career change?” I was already good in business and an entrepreneur, a self-starter. The first nine months were difficult because I had to make calls to referrals, something I wasn’t used to. Suddenly though I got all these great clients and I was the top producer in the company that second year.
After two years, I became an independent advisor. I’ve known from the beginning I have a passion for helping women. I needed to focus on that in my own practice… my skills and my passion. Be true to yourself. The right things come into your life to make it possible.
A transition is something that changes your life: divorce, widowhood, career change, retirement, and even a financial windfall. Finances play a big role.
Financial windfalls for example can cause a lot of stress. People who come into money can become completely stressed because they now have responsibility they didn’t have before and they are afraid they might mess it up.
I help women to look at their options for managing their transition. With divorce, we discuss whether they should go to an attorney, to mediation, or whether to get divorced at all. I offer specific divorce financial planning to help them decide how best to divide their assets. If they’ve never managed their own money, I do financial education. I also help to empower them by telling my own story. I’ve dealt with many transitions, including a terrible divorce, building a business, building a life on a new continent by myself. If I can do it, other women can do it.
What made it possible for me are certain mindsets and principles, following universal law. Most people fail because they believe they are a victim. No victims are successful. Once you get past being a victim, you focus on moving forward. These are the kinds of tools, resources, and services I offer.
No. But, I have a passion for helping women because women tend to undervalue themselves. They limit themselves. They think they cannot be as successful. I’m a woman and I was able to do anything I put my mind to.
I’m a Financial Planner, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and trained mediator. I am the owner of Roper Financial Planning – A Registered Investment Advisor. Since 2006, I have been a partner in Chapman, Roper & Breslin, LLC, a wealth management firm in San Diego, California. I hold the FINRA Series 7, 63, 66 and 24 licenses as well as Life, Disability, Long-Term Care and Variable Insurance Licenses with the States of California.
Most important though, I’ve also been a successful business owner for 19 years that I started and built myself. I taught myself to be good with money during that time, and I want to teach others. Anyone can learn to be good with money.
Often just going to a lawyer is not ideal for your situation. You might not need a lawyer at all. Some people need mediation. Some just need help to prepare documents, or help with deciding how to divide your assets. More and more people are using mediation.
I’m not a trained counselor or therapist, but having gone through my own experiences and come through them successfully, I learned so much. I analyzed them and those of my friends. They’re very similar. Human beings are basically alike. Once you understand these universal laws, you can understand life. That’s where I got my training – in the “School of Hard Knocks.”
The Smart Women’s Success Connection is a membership program offered by The WIT Institute through our website. I created it when I realized there are so many women out there that need support, help, and advice at an affordable price. Not every woman can go to a coach, a financial planner, and so on. They can get a lot of support, education, and advice at this site.
My mission is to educate women before they are forced to… but if they ARE forced to, to be there to support them and help them as they learn. I want to educate beforehand… and I want to help them during and after.
I want to help them get prepared before they are on their own.
Because of conditioning, programming from a young age. It is changing, but women were conditioned to believe that men handled the finances while they took care of the home and kids. Many think finances are the man’s job. That ingrained programming needs to be changed. It’s just a mindset.
Human beings tend to be able to do almost anything if they need to. Why wait until you’re in this situation? Why not start today? What I do is educate women so they don’t suddenly have to scramble. The membership site for example, offers ongoing education for anyone who wants to learn. Chances are you’re going to be going through a transition at some point in your life. You might as well prepare now.
Here are some statistics:
- The average age of a widow in America today is 56.
- Estimates suggest 80 to 90 percent of all women today will at some point in their lives be the sole financial decision maker for their households.
- The average woman experiences a 27 percent decrease in her standard of living following a divorce while a man has a 10 percent increase.
- Nearly 90 percent of women eventually end up living on their own.
- 70 percent of the elderly poor are women.
* Sources: National Foundation for Women Business Owners, 1999; National Center for Women and Retirement Research; Research conducted by Business Week and Gallup
People, especially women, aren’t good with money because they don’t think they are good with money. We are what we believe. I can teach anyone these skills, if they’re willing.
Don’t say too much to anyone. Start preparing. Plan ahead. Get a checklist, which I have available. Get your paperwork together. Learn as much as you can before you file or even mention it. Start educating yourself about finances. Divorce is always about two things: children and finances. That’s it. The more you know about the finances the more empowered and in control you feel, and not so scared.
No. I believe in trying to achieve a fair divorce. If you try to get everything and it becomes nasty and ugly, you may regret it later and it does great harm to the kids (if you have any). It stays with you. A fair, reasonable, and amicable divorce will make you feel much better. You’ll have less baggage to deal with later.
If the man has been the main breadwinner, the woman might be unreasonable from pure fear. They haven’t had to support themselves and now that they face that reality, they often experience great fear of the unknown. Part of my mission is to educate them and let them know they CAN make it and they don’t need to take a man for everything he’s got.
Men don’t realize how much fear women have. Often when I help a woman go through divorce and show her she’ll be OK, I’m also helping the man in the process because she is more inclined to be fair and reasonable.
- Can career change be a positive transition? So many people are being laid off these days and it doesn’t seem very positive.
This is your chance to figure out exactly what you want to do. If you’ve been laid off, take the time to reassess everything. Transition is actually a very good thing. It’s during transition that you have enough pain to make changes and grow. You’re open to changing. If you do it the right way, it can be the best thing that ever happened to you.
Wake up your life and cut the crap!
I took negative personal experiences with three relationships and used them to learn about life. I took rejection, and turned it into redirection. And I wouldn’t change it for the world. It was a blessing. It was a gift. It felt like a pretty crappy gift at the time but it did drive me to find answers. I looked at myself and I didn’t like what I saw. I didn’t blame anyone else. I realized that I was the common denominator in all three situations, therefore I needed to change. This is why my story makes such an impact. I speak with conviction because I’ve lived it.
People are semi-conscious, just like I was. We need to wake up and become aware of what we believe realize that what we think governs our choices. The great thing is that we are not victims. Change our thinking, change our mindsets and we can change our lives.
Fear is the opposite of faith… faith in your abilities, faith that you will make it. People won’t take a risk to get what they want out of fear, and they settle. I’ve never done this. It’s part of my story. I have not settled.
I teach people to turn it around… they are not victims. This means you have control. Some people want to stay the victim because they don’t want to take responsibility. They’re not ready, it’s not their time, or they never want to. It’s work being a victim. It actually kills you slowly…
